


The Unplanned Proposal

by Mabji



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Hallucinations, M/M, Marriage Proposal, So Wrong It's Right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 04:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5613244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mabji/pseuds/Mabji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sherlocks death John starts hallucination him. Mary 'becomes' on reagular basis his best friend, so he is planning to make her stay with him forever. It's his only way to make Sherlock stay too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unplanned Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Oneshot - Ungeplante Verlobung](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3823405) by [Mabji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mabji/pseuds/Mabji). 



The Unplanned Proposal (~From the German "Ungeplante Verlobung" by Mabji~)

***

John shifted around nervously in his chair; he was in his tight, expensive Italian suit tonight and he wasn’t feeling too well. He was also still fighting the panic which was threatening to erupt in his throat in the form of bitter acid.   
Did he really want to propose to Mary tonight? He was sure that she already suspected what he had planned. It wasn’t a particularly clever idea; he didn’t really love the blonde, he was merely fond of her.   
He sighed.

Since when had he began to be so selfish? It was neither nice nor forgivable to take advantage of her this way, as he had planned.   
When had he stopped being nice? And why was Mary always turning into Sherlock, right before John's eyes?   
She wasn’t really doing it, the doctor was just imagining it. But then again, it only happened to him when he was with Mary. He had not yet found out the reason for this happening and he did not care to. The fact was, the John was unwilling to cut Sherlock Holmes out entirely from his life and so he would continue going along this life with Mary, who made it possible to remain close to Sherlock because she 'became' Sherlock just for him. 

Of course though, John was not stupid. He knew it was unhealthy to engage in the hallucinations, to continue encouraging them.   
Whloe last year, ever since he had met Mary, he had spent nights lying awake, trying to dissuade himself from the self-destructive impulses. Clearly without great success.   
The only thing which he was getting out of this was this ridiculous proposal plan and the acknowledgment of his feelings for John.   
Well, only with himself because who else would it interest that John loved a dead man and would wish him back for the rest of his life?

Shaking his head, he pulled the engagement ring out of his pocket. Testing it out, he put it on the table in its little box. Admittedly, it was only a small diamond set into the golden metal ring, but it twinkled in the candlelight like a tiny sun.   
As John noticed a movement out of the corner of his eyes, he was overwhelmed once again by panic and pulled the ring back, hiding it.   
The doctor blinked as Sherlock slid into the seat in front of him in one smooth motion. Something about it seemed to John cautious and tense and suited neither the restaurant's atmosphere nor the mood in which Mary had left him.   
Normally, Sherlock's mood matched Mary's; he was Mary after all. John thought momentarily about how complicated his life had become but then dismissed the thought with a shrug.  
Who knew anymore what his insane brain had thought up for him? 

John sat there, staring at the man in front of him; Sherlock really was too beautiful for this world, almost unbelievably so.   
No wonder his brain didn't want to forgot this image.   
But he should start seeing Mary sitting in front of him, anything else would be a sort of betrayal to her, wouldn't it?   
But if the blond was completely honest with himself, he had to admit that he was happy with the timing of this hallucination; the proposal would be easier this way. John grinned at his best friend who returned the smile, even with the cautious look in those bright, shining eyes. 

Nervous once again, John reminded himself of his plan and then reached across the table to take one of Sherlock's hands into his own.   
He wondered for a moment how come Mary's hands seemed so big and warm in his; Mary had wet, clammy hands, something John didn't like.   
But even hallucinations had their limits, which was why he always heard or felt Mary, when he was in fact seeing Sherlock.  
Perhaps Mary had washed her hands with warm water?   
John gave himself a mental smack. He should get the proposal over with and not think about such nonsense. 

The doctor took a deep breath, held it for a moment and then gathered all his courage. As long as he could look into Sherlock's eyes all the while, all would go well.   
"Listen," John began, purposely avoiding the use of a name, because he would say 'Sherlock' and offend Mary horribly. He had already made that mistake once and it was more than enough to last him for the rest of his life; after that, he had trained himself to avoid that tactic. Sherlock was still blinking down at their entangled fingers.   
"...there's something I'd like to ask you. I know, I'm terrible. I'm still emotionally unbalanced and besides, I'm broke and slowly getting old. Basically, I have my best days behind me. I would, however, quite like to spend the rest of my remaining days with you by my side!‘‘   
Sherlock opened his mouth to reply with something which would match his perplexed expression but John held up his free hand.

He didn’t want Sherlock to speak because if he did, it would be with Mary's voice and he didn’t think he would be able to handle it in that very moment; he would rather stay a moment longer in his imaginary world and ignore the bitter truth that Sherlock was no longer here.   
"So I'd like to ask you whether you could possibly imagine marrying me?"   
John finally finished talking and pulled out the engagement ring again, in order to hold it out to Sherlock. John smiled encouragingly at his best friend, as a mental side note noticing how his hand felt almost crushed in Sherlock's.  
Since when was Mary so strong? 

Were those tears shining in Sherlock's eyes?   
John stared at his hallucination, stunned.   
He had never seen Holmes cry, even though he had been certain that the man had cried up on the rooftop, during their last phone conversation. John had recognized something in his voice, but he'd never actually seen it happen!   
The thing was, John's hallucinations usually popped up whenever he was in a situation which he had never actually experienced with Sherlock.   
Every kiss, for example. John always bent forward to kiss the young men, closes his eyes and when he opened them, once more, it was Mary standing opposite him. 

But everything seemed so real here and now, as John merely needed to reach a finger out to stroke a finger over the man's cheek in order to perhaps catch a tear from his eyelashes and kiss it away.   
John blinked; how had he drifted away so far with his thoughts? Had he missed the answer? John felt himself begin to turn warm, as Sherlock (well, Mary) continued to look at the round piece of metal without a word.   
Had he proposed too early? Had he just ruined everything?   
But the brunette stretched his trembling hand out and motioned for John, through their entwined fingers, to put the ring on.   
Pure relief swept through John's body as he carried out the unspoken invitation. 

It was so easy to slip that bit of gold onto the long, slender finger; Sherlock had always had beautiful fingers. John had never really paid much attention to them in the last two years, but now he just couldn’t look long enough at them  
Eventually, he had to pull himself away.   
"Is that a yes?" asked the doctor, laughing.   
Sherlock, who still looked overwhelmed and outdone, let out a shaky, voiceless laugh before giving a beaming nod.   
It was not happiness that John felt but simply satisfaction. Because now he could no longer shut out the reality of it all. He knew that he now needed to kiss Mary and when he did, he'd lose Sherlock for the rest of the evening.

With a bitter taste in his mouth, he got up from his chair without letting go of Sherlock's hand.   
He would hold onto the man for as long as he could!   
Everything seemed to play in slow motion before John's eyes. Sherlock, who's whole body was trembling. John could see dilated pupils in those bright eyes and the grip of Sherlock's fingers on his hand intensified once more.   
In the background, waiters were hectically dashing around, candles alternatively flickering darker and brighter and people, too many people, loudly discussing things, things that by tomorrow morning would no longer interest anybody. 

But none of these meaningless matters really entered his mind, only the dark haired man held his attention.   
And as John dropped down onto one of his knees in front of him and took his other hand into his own, he knew, deep down, that there was no turning back now and that he would think often of this day.   
Sherlock looked down at the doctor and John had never seen so much fear in someone's face before. The blonde knew that there was no more hesitating. 

In one swift motion, he band forward and leaned in, pressing his lips to Sherlock's mouth. An incredible smell suddenly filled John's nose and as he continued to kiss Sherlock, lips moving and pressure mounting, a clear picture formed in his mind.   
An image of Sherlock who had, during their time on Baker Street 221B, dared to burst into the bathroom just as John was shaving, simply in order to put on his aftershave. John let the aroma carry into his lungs and in his mind thanked the person who was in the same room as them and seemed to wearing the same perfume. 

The despair began to spread through John.   
He couldn’t stop kissing Sherlock because then it would be Mary sitting in front of him once more, and he just didn’t want that.  
He could simply just never let the kiss end, lock out everyone else who was around them, and, although he knew there was no sense in it, the doctor slipped his hands around Sherlock's neck to prevent him from retreating, and buried them in the dark curls. When John parted his lips for the first time and shot his tongue out, a few things occurred simultaneously.   
Firstly, John realized what he was feeling between his fingers. Those were definitely small, silky locks. But Mary didn’t have such curls, so what was going on here?  
Secondly, a throaty groan vibrated against John's lips, the groan of a very deep voice which seemed more than a bit familiar to him.   
And from behind him he heard a shocked gasp and a female voice ask in horror: "What the hell are you doing, John?"

During the next second, the doctor was grabbed by the shoulder and spun round. The leg, by which he was supported, buckled beneath him and he lost all contact with the soft lips before falling to the ground.  
To his surprise, Mary's face appeared above him, not from in front of him, where she should have been on her chair, but from behind, with one hand raised.   
So it was her who had pushed him down.  
Blinking, he stared up at the ceiling.  
His muddled brain could not comprehend the meaning of what was going on, but this could not be all that was going on. 

And then Sherlock's head came into view.   
Seeing him next to Mary, pale and anxious and still so thin, made everything fall suddenly into place.  
The detective fell to his knees next to John and raised his hand to touch the doctor.  
His hands ran wildly over John's body, searching for injuries which did not exist.   
A twinkle appeared in John's eye, like the twinkle of a small sun embedded in a delicate gold band which sat snuggly on Sherlock's finger.   
"Sherlock!" John whispered hoarsely, choking back tears.   
He could see the detective nodding and mouthing the words, "I'm sorry!" and then everything around him went dark.

**Author's Note:**

> Salut^^
> 
> I wrote this story in German first.  
> A good friend of mine, bloody-brilliant Poppy, helped me now to translate it.   
> We would both be very fond of some opinions!


End file.
